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| Martin Gabel, Fritz Weaver, Inga Swenson |
Astounding, yet true. Baker Street: A Musical Adventure of Sherlock Holmes ran for nine months at New York's Broadway Theatre beginning on February 16, 1965, with music by Marian Grudeff and Raymond Jessel and book by Jerome Coopersmith. It starred Fritz Weaver as Sherlock Holmes, Peter Sallis as Dr. Watson, Inga Swenson as Irene Adler and Martin Gabel as Professor Moriarty (along with the Broadway debuts, in small roles, of Christopher Walken and Tommy Tune).
While a veritable treasure of Holmesian lore—combining elements of two of The Master's most famous cases, A Scandal in Bohemia and The Final Problem, along with a full complement of ragged, Oliver!-like Baker Street Irregulars—the show was not, sad to say, a runaway success. It suffered mixed reviews and disappointing business and, in the end, moved from The Broadway to the Martin Beck Theatre, where it closed after just 11 days.
Today it remains a little-known curiosity. And as part The Diogenes Club's tireless efforts to dredge up the minutiae of Sherlock Holmes' renown, I thought it would be fun to bring you the lyrics of one of the show's numbers, "It's So Simple," in which Holmes displays his prowess for the benefit of Watson, Inspector Lestrade, and an astonished client named Captain Gregg:
IT'S SO SIMPLE
HOLMES
Come, come, your profession isn't hard to perceive.
Your manner, your bearing, the very clothes you're wearing—
That handkerchief tucked in your sleeve.
A military custom, I believe?
Of course you're an officer.
Sandhurst, am I right?
And you're too young for a major,
and so I should gauge you're a captain.
GREGG
Well, I'll be—
HOLMES
Quite.
GREGG
Sir, I'm amazed!
HOLMES
You show surprise?
And yet the facts are there before your very eyes.
And it's so simple,
Sublimely simple.
If you learn not just to see but to observe.
Put your brain to work, not just the optic nerve.
If you put your mind to use,
you will find the most abstruse
becomes so simple
WATSON
Oh, yes, so simple.
Just as simple as a simple thing can be.
HOLMES
And it's hardly very hard
to see he's in the palace guard.
WATSON
Oh, no, it's simple as A-B-C.
GREGG
Now, wait a minute! How did you know I was in the palace guard?
HOLMES
My dear Captain.
The line of your sunburn, straight across your brow.
No cap with a visor
makes that mark, and I, sir,
ask what type of headgear could possibly do that?
A brimless bearskin hat!
Now who wears a busby? You answer that, and then
all other suppositions you discard.
Just guardsmen—and only when on duty in the palace yard!
GREGG
Well, I'll be bound!
HOLMES
Does it astound?
What other possible solution could be found?
It's all so simple,
absurdly simple.
Why do people always fail to realize
that it's not enough to merely use their eyes?
They keep going round half blind,
never using what's behind.
WATSON
You see, it's simple.
GREGG
Oh yes, it's simple.
WATSON & GREGG
However difficult it might at first appear.
HOLMES
And it isn't hard to place there's a woman in the case.
WATSON & GREGG
Oh, no, it's simple, so very simple.
It's as simple—
WATSON
Now, Holmes, look here!
How on earth could you know that there's a woman involved in his case?
HOLMES
The same way I know that you sent off a telegram today.
You did send a telegram?
WATSON
Yes, but how?
HOLMES
Your problem is a woman?
GREGG
Yes, but—
HOLMES
Now, my dear Watson, please examine the heel of your slipper.
You'll note a trace of clay there, the color of a kipper.
That hue is my clue and it makes the case complete.
For such clay is only found
where they're digging up the ground
at the doorway to the post office on Wigmore Street!
WATSON
Holmes!
HOLMES
And as for you, sir, as far as I can see,
the reason for your nervousness can only be one of three.
Either a mortal threat,
or a very pressing debt,
or the utterly inhuman machinations of a woman
who is possibly toying at destroying your career!
Is it she, or money, or terror brings you here?
Now from your bravery tonight, it would surely appear
that if anything at all it isn't violence you fear.
And you gave that so-called beggar so much money that it's clearly
the last alternative!
And positive I am
when I say cherchez la femme!
GREGG
Why, sir, you're right!
LESTRADE
A child could do it!
WATSON
Once you get the knack, there's really nothing to it.
GREGG
Why it's so simple, absurdly simple.
WATSON, GREGG & LESTRADE
It's as obvious as two and two make four.
HOLMES
Rudimentary deduction, nothing more.
WATSON
Though at first we were impressed
LESTRADE
We see now that at its best
WATSON, GREGG & LESTRADE
It's all so simple.
HOLMES
It's more than simple.
It's the very essence of simplicity.
WATSON, GREGG & LESTRADE
No, we cannot disagree.
LESTRADE
For as any fool can see
WATSON, GREGG & LESTRADE
It's all so simple, oh, yes it's simple.
GREGG
Simple!
WATSON
Easy!
LESTRADE
Nothing!
GREGG
Basic.
LESTRADE
Child's play!
WATSON
Plainly as evident as evidence can be.
HOLMES
It's—
Elementary!
I wonder how this was performed. I can sort of picture Holmes being played ala Henry Higgins and speaking more than singing.
ReplyDeleteMichelle,
ReplyDeleteMy understanding (I was too young to see this) is that the musical was VERY "My Fair Lady"-ish, down to the costume design and general tone of the music and lyrics. I'd be willing to bet the music was pitched as a way to cash in on "Lady's" popularity.
YouTube has a few sample tracks from Baker Street: A Musical Adventure of Sherlock Holmes; in particular 'It's So Simple' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZ_PU2pM6mM
ReplyDeleteI love it.
I actually saw this play when I was very young, in 1965. Some of the songs, such as "A Married Man," sung by Watson, were terrific. I also remember a number, sung by Moriarty, "Revenge," that I enjoyed. The play was noted to have fantastic scenery, especially for the year that it was staged. I kind of remember a scene that involved a marching of wooden soldiers, and people in the audience taking taking pictures with their cameras (well before camera-phones). Surprising to me, the play did not even last one year, before closing.
ReplyDelete